Optimism.

Once upon a time ago I used to be a girl who got depressed easily. I'd get really sad when no one paid any attention to me and would sometimes act passive-aggressively in hopes of getting attention (with very little success I might add). I even once wrote a short story as a cry for help, but that cry went ignored. I wouldn't say I had depression––although technically I was diagnosed with it––but whatever was wrong with me made things very hard. I had a hard time fitting in at school, and always worried about what people thought of me. I didn't have very many friends, and was one of those kids who was always picked last for group activities. Most times I'd end up grouped with the other kid no one liked. A lot of that lingered on long after school was done and over with. It made everything difficult to say the least which is probably why I'd gotten nowhere in life for so long.

While I have never attempted suicide, the thought has crept into my head more times than I would care to admit. If not for my fear of what waited after death I could have probably done it, but it's hard to say because I do have a pretty strong will to live. Regardless, after discovering Fruits Basket and learning about Tohru those thoughts have mostly disappeared. While this was not by any means an instant thing, Tohru was definitely someone I greatly admired and aspired to be like. I wanted to change the way I thought and I've never been happier because of this. I guess you could say she saved my life.

While I can't say I am where I want to be, as sometimes the negative thoughts and bouts of depression will still occasionally come knocking on my door, I am still further along than where I was before. I am happier, I have people willing to help me, and am working on taking the steps needed to move forward in my life. I can now admit to myself I have depression, and that I need help and am not afraid to ask for it or talk to anyone about it.